IMPORTANCE OF VISITING

     Do not underestimate the value of your visit to the bereaved.  It means more to the mourners than they can possibly express.  With death come grief.  The family grieves for its lost one and for themselves.  The sorrow of separation is evident.  You lighten the sorrow by sharing in it.  Your visit will help them get started on the road back.
     The emotional well-being of survivors depends on the acknowledgement of the death, not the denial of it.  That is why the funeral and visitation are so important.  Painful as they may be, they confirm the fact that the death has occurred.
     Going to the visitation and/or the funeral can also be good in many ways for the person doing it.  Facing the fact of death when it happens to others can be important in shaping the values in one's own life.  It helps prepare for a future death in the family.  It shows how to accept this same kind of community support when death occurs.

MORE THAN TIME ALONE

     Time is a very important aspect of grief work.  The recovery back to creative, healthy living is only through the painful process of grief itself.  There are no shortcuts.
     Because of the multitude of factors that affect the way an individual will react to grief, there can be no cookbook approach to helping the bereaved nor can there be a set timetable for the grief process.
     It is a mistake, however, to think that time alone will necessarily heal the pain of grief.  It is how time is used that will be a factor in determining how long the pain remains acute, whether it is even fully experienced, and how long it it will take for recovery.  Grief is an active, not a passive process.  The course of normal grief depends on the ability of the bereaved to do the grief work necessary to separate themselves from that which was lost and reinvest themselves elsewhere.

PRUDENT PLANNING

     Financial planning involves the consideration of many contingencies.  One which is often neglected, is the prudent planning of funeral costs.
     Consideration of funeral costs in advance is certainly not a new idea.  Many individuals consider what is wanted in the way of funeral service and share these wishes with their families in some way.  With the help of an informed funeral director, you'll know that your wishes will be carried out in ways that are financially sound and truly helpful to your family.
     Contact the funeral director you have chosen.  Discuss your concerns with him or her and talk about preferences with your family.  There are more decision to be made than you perhaps have anticipated; decisions which you can spare your survivors from having to make during time of need.  Pre-arranging funerals is a sensitive and practical way to plan for your family.